


break me like a promise

by piecesofgold



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/F, Gen, Mild Sexual Content, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Wedding, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-30 23:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21436261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piecesofgold/pseuds/piecesofgold
Summary: Prompt; fireworks, a broken clock, a toast.
Relationships: Dawn Granger/Donna Troy, Dawn Granger/Hank Hall, Dick Grayson & Donna Troy
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	break me like a promise

**Author's Note:**

> my uni assignment has finally stopped bodyslamming me into the pavement and i have a whole backlog of WIPs to get through, so, look forward to that.
> 
> btw i don't hate donna or dawn, this is just an angsty complex thing my brain thought up upon seeing the prompt, and i thrive on angst, apparently. i've missed writing these two tbh.

The kitchen clock is broken. Donna doesn’t know why she keeps staring at it.

She wants to be anywhere else but here.

Champagne isn’t helping - she’s downed two flutes and still wants to cry, contrary to the laughter coming from the next room.

She’d barely made it through the ceremony, stood between Holly and Kory in their dusty orange bridesmaid dresses, clutching her bouquet as if her life depended on it.

Dawn had looked radiant, in chiffon and silk and lace. Donna couldn’t look at her. Her face hurt from the smile she’d forced while Hank and Dawn said their vows.

They’re good for each other, better than they used to be - or at least that’s what they both say, and if Donna didn’t know them, didn’t know _Dawn_, down to her very bones, maybe she’d believe them.

Maybe it would hurt less, to love her if only from afar. If Donna didn’t know what Dawn’s lips felt like against hers, had never had Dawn’s hands on her body, didn’t know the noises Dawn made when she comes.

Perhaps if Dawn hadn’t crawled into Donna’s bed after the Bachelorette party, slipped her shaky hands under Donna’s shirt and pressed the lines of their bodies together, if Donna hadn’t littered biting kisses along Dawn’s throat, twisted her fingers in Dawn’s platinum hair as she fucked her for the first time since the engagement was announced, maybe the last time they ever would, gripped her hand like a lifeline - maybe, now, Donna wouldn't feel like she’s being burned from the inside out.

“I’m a terrible person,” Dawn had whispered afterwards, naked and so tangled with Donna she didn’t know where Dawn ended and she bagan.

Donna snorted, rubbing Dawn’s arm. “If you’re expecting me to disagree -”

Dawn had laughed, tearful. “I’m getting married in three days, and I’m fucking the bridesmaid.”

Donna presses closer to her, brushing their lips together. “Well, I’m the bridesmaid, so I don’t think I’m much better. We’re both really terrible people.”

Moonlight reflected in Dawn’s eyes as she studied Donna’s face, and Donna stops breathing as Dawn began tracing it with her fingertips.

The moment felt too fragile, too real. Donna imagined a different world, where she and Dawn are the _always_, not the _just for now_ when Dawn feels bad and Donna is too weak to refuse her.

“I don’t,” Dawn whispered, stopping short. Donna nudged their noses together. “I don’t know how I can do this.”

“What, get married? It’s a little late to call it off.”

“No. No, that’s not it. I hate -” Dawn exhaled sharply, shutting her eyes.

Donna brushed a lock of her pale hair back. “Tell me.”

“I hate that you’re not doing it all with me,” Dawn’s voice breaks, so Donna kisses her.

She thinks about that first time, in college, Dawn too angry and upset to think straight and Donna too overwhelmed by Dawn’s _everything_ so late at night to properly comfort her, until Dawn had grabbed her face and pulled her in. Donna had melted into her like chocolate in sunlight.

She’d cried in the morning when Dawn hed left in a rush, saying over and over that it was a mistake, that she doesn’t like Donna _like that_ \- and in all honesty, Donna had never thought about Dawn like that either, not until Dawn was kissing her.

Afterwards, she did her best to avoid Dawn unless absolutely necessary. Whenever they were with Dick, Kory, Wally and Roy, she’d catch Dawn staring at her from under Hank’s arm, and something would clench inside her. Part of her hoped that’d be the end, the one night stand mistake - until Dawn showed up on her doorstep on the Fourth of July, smelling of smoke from a bonfire. Donna hadn’t said anything, just let Dawn tear her clothes off. Let herself have the moment.

When Dawn had curled up beside her and fallen asleep, Donna had stared up at the ceiling for hours, listening to the fireworks outside her window. She pictured herself as one, with Dawn, aiming for a place amongst the stars but exploding before they even get close.

Shrieking outside the window startles Donna back to the present, to Hank and Dawn’s kitchen and it’s broken clock. Peering through, she sees a barefoot Rachel helping little Mari toddle across the grass, shoes in one hand and Mari in the other. Kory is a few paces behind, arm linked in Wally’s, laughing at something he’s saying but keeping her eyes fixed on her daughters. Conner is sat at one of the long tables already, his arm draped over Gar’s shoulder, both missing their blazers. He cackles loudly and presses his face into Gar’s hair, the latter’s grin somehow gets wider.

“Hey, there you are.” Donna spins to see Dick opening the door. “Been looking for you all over, you’re gonna miss the toast.”

“I’m sure Holly will manage fine without me.” Donna sets her empty glass down. Dick joins her at the window, and she sees the flush on his cheeks, top button undone and bowtie hanging loose. “Wally’s stolen your wife, by the way.”

“Eh, she can handle him.” Dick’s eyes crinkle at the sides, gaze following Krypto yapping at Jason’s heels, the bowtie Conner had insisted on tying around his collar miraculously still hanging on. “Are you okay?”

Donna frowns, feeling oddly defensive. “Why?”

Dick’s eyebrows shoot up. “I don’t know, maybe because you’ve been looking like you’re at a funeral instead of a wedding all day.”

Donna scoffs bitterly. “A funeral for my pride, maybe.”

“Donna.” Dick’s voice softens.

Donna has never regretted telling him about whatever the hell she and Dawn are - _were_ \- more than she does right now. He’d once described her as a brick wall that refuses to admit it’s crumbling, on one of the many nights they’d spent with their legs tangled watching John Mulaney specials instead of writing their assignments. She’d laughed and kicked him in the shin, and he’d smirked at her over his beer.

“I -” Donna grits her teeth, tries again. “It’s not like I expected us to be - _it_, y’know, I’m not that desperate.” Dick gives her a look, and she rolls her eyes. “Fine, a little desperate. It’s just -” she stops, catching sight of Hank and Dawn sat at a table on the lawn. He’s whispering in her ear, and she’s laughing with her head thrown back. “They’re no good for one another. You know they’re not.”

Dick sighs. “I know they’re both idiots who keep going back to one another over and over again. It’s almost inspiring.”

“It’s stupid and unhealthy. They both deserve better than being trapped in this cycle.”

“_You_ deserve better, too,” Dick reminds her. “How many times can she let you down before you walk away?”

Donna can't look at him. “I’ve been having an affair with her while she’s been with one of my _best friends_ since _college_,” she snaps, “and never once tried to stop it. I’m part of the problem, too.”

Dick exhales heavily. “Jesus, fine, you’re all fucking idiots.”

Donna pats his shoulder. “Now you’re getting it.”

She resents Dick for having his life so in order, sometimes. For falling in love with Kory and building something so secure with her and the kids. For it all looking so _easy_, even though Donna knows it hasn’t been - she remembers the long nights sat with them while being dragged through Rachel and Gar’s adoption process, how long it took for those poor kids to even remotely trust Dick and Kory, unofficially taking in Conner and Krypto, suddenly having Mari.

Donna doesn’t envy them for how hard those years were on all of them, but she’s grateful it got them to where they are now.

A very quiet part of herself always yearned to have something like that with Dawn.

Taking a deep breath, she picks up another flute of champagne, wonders if she can make it through dinner without crying.

Dick gently takes the drink off her. “That’s enough.” He glances up, waves at someone on the lawn - Donna looks over to see Kory and Rachel beckoning them out, Mari mouthing _Dada_ incessantly.

Holding his arm out, Dick grins. “Shall we?”

It won’t fix anything, Donna going out there, Holly’s toast, Hank and Dawn’s honeymoon, whatever happens afterwards. Someday soon, Dawn’s going to show up on her doorstep again, and the cycle will go on and on.

Maybe, though, maybe next time she can stop it. Maybe she can break them both out of it.

Donna hooks her arm through Dick’s, trying to smile. “Lead the way.”


End file.
